Chocolate Madness
by greenikat89
Summary: Oneshot, MWPP: Remus loves books and he loves chocolate, some would say to the point of obsession. So really, he should be happy right now surrounded by his two loves. So why does he feel like he’s just been dropped into his worst nightmare?


**Disclaimer: **Sadly I'm making no money off of this story or characters that are own by J.K. Rowling. Darn it. This means I have to go get a job now. Now where's that help wanted section?

A/N: Thanks to _**what'sinthecloset **_for beta'ing this.

* * *

"Look Moony! I did it myself," Sirius grinned, gesturing around the room with excitement. "Don't you love it? I know I do."

Remus was speechless. He didn't know whether to cry or strangle his best friend from where he stood. He was strongly opting towards the latter but his body wasn't responding to the signals from his brain. This was probably because he couldn't think clearly enough to send them. So he stood there shocked, mouth hanging slightly open and gazed around the room, the room filled with books.

There were books everywhere, stacks upon stacks, upon stacks of books. They were lined up along the floor and leaned against chair legs. They were piled on top of chests and haphazardly placed on desks and even windowsills in danger of tumbling to the floor. They were wedged in every nook and cranny, on every available surface, and on anything able to support the weight. There were even some shoved between the mattresses of the beds.

There were big ones and small ones, cookbooks and magic books, rare ones and plain ones, fiction and non-fiction, furry ones and scaled ones, and any other kind of book imaginable. In short, it looked like the entire Hogwarts' library was relocated to Remus's room.

And Remus stood in the middle of it all with nothing but horror written on his face.

Sirius was jabbering away, seemingly unaware of Remus's curiously evident distress. "You see Remus, you looked upset these past couple of days and I couldn't figure out why," he said placing his hands on his hips.

Remus was still recovering from shock to point out that he was a little peeved at receiving detention from Sirius's latest prank. Sirius seemed to forget this small fact as he chattered on. "So then I thought, being the ever unselfish and considerate person that I am, that you mate, needed some cheering up. So I-" he stopped talking as he noticed a book on the floor in the corner and picked it up, saying an incantation, before placing it on the pile with the rest. He smiled satisfied with his handiwork and continued on. "So I thought about pulling another prank, preferably on Snivellus, because that usually cheers you up."

Actually Remus didn't really like the pranking part all that much. It was after the pranks with minimal damage done to the school or him that he was vastly relieved. Naturally Sirius mistook Remus's relief as glee that a successful prank had been pulled off.

"And then I thought about setting you up on a date," Sirius carried on. Remus involuntarily cringed at that, showing that his brain was starting to work. "Because being with a girl always puts _me _in good spirits." He frowned as a thought just occurred to him. "Well, only birds that equal my stunning good looks and charming personality." He tapped one long finger against his chin. "Okay, maybe not equal to me because, let's face it, no one can equal _me_. Let's just say similar to, but now I'm getting off topic. Not that I mind, mind you because I could talk about me and have a good time, but I'm trying to get to my brilliant plan."

He cleared his throat and held up his hands for silence, even though Remus was the only other person in the room and he had yet to talk. He was still trying to get over the books. "So then I thought, what's the next best thing? What does Moony really, really love, besides me of course," he paused waiting for Remus to answer, which he didn't. Sirius didn't seem to notice this as he nodded his head vigorously. "That's right, books!" he exclaimed, throwing a finger in the air. "Moony always goes to that hideous place known as the library," he made a face, "practically making out with those dusty old things.

"And since I could not bring you to the books, seeing as how I'm banned from the library for the rest of my naturally born life." He rolled his eyes. "I don't even think what I did was worth getting banned for. I only made _half _the books explode. James was the one to charm the other half into singing the Gryffindor theme song." This was the song that Sirius and James had come up with during their first year. It was loud, it was obnoxious, it insulted the Slytherins to no end, and they loved it. Sadly, the same could not be said for Madam Pince.

"Anyways, I decided to bring the library to you." He spread his arms wide, in an overly dramatic and very Sirius-like fashion, to accentuate his point. "So Moony, how does it feel to have the entire library right here in your very own room? You don't have to go to that library anymore and best of all you can eat chocolate without Madam Pince throwing you out." He beamed at his own ingeniousness and ran a hand along the smooth cover of a book.

Sirius noticed Remus's lack of response for the first time and looked over his shoulder to see Remus with tears in his eyes. He mistook that as a sign that Remus was so overcome with emotion at his thoughtful gesture that he didn't know how to thank him properly. Sirius took pity on his friend and decided to help him out. "No need to thank me," he said grandly, puffing out his chest. "I'm just glad to make my friend happy. So he can do all the research for our next grand scheme," he added.

He clapped Remus on the shoulder. "I'll head out now and leave you alone with your wonderful present. Don't worry, I'll even spell-lock the door so no one could possibly get in." Before Remus could object, pointing out that he would be locked in the room because he didn't have his wand with him, Sirius was already up and talking again.

"I'll be back in a couple hours. James and me are going to go throw Snivellus in the lake. We figure it's our civic duty to clean up the trash around our beloved school Hogwarts. We're so thoughtful that way." He grinned and left, not before knocking over a huge stack of books that sent them crashing to the floor.

Remus winced at the sound and looked around the room sadly. It was true that Remus loved books, so he should have been ecstatic that there was an entire library in his room. Well, really he should feel horrified that Sirius had transported an entire library to his room, but he was neither. He was actually incredibly miserable.

Remus had to admit that Sirius had his brilliant moments; unfortunately this wasn't one of them. For what was he to do with thousands of books covered in chocolate? He couldn't read them because every page was covered in the sticky sweet, and he certainly couldn't eat them because they were books. He was surrounded by his two loves and Remus couldn't do a thing. It was driving him crazy.

Whether he meant to or not, Sirius had given Remus his worst nightmare. Remus just hoped he had enough sanity left once he got out to return the favor.

* * *

A/N: Reviews area always appreciated. 


End file.
